Alright guys, bros, boys and men. It’s time to talk toilets.

We see this all the time; it’s in almost every guys’ bathroom in this school: The burns on the separators of the urinals. As with all vandalism, the perps are pretty quiet. The rest of us have to look at that ugly stuff when we’re getting our business done, and come on, who wants that?





“It’s a bigger problem year after year,” said Debbie Ball, our school custodian. “The people doing it just won’t take responsibility for their actions.” She mentioned how wasteful it seems to replace them at times—they just get trashed all over again.







Each panel costs about $80, plus an average of $45 for labor—a grand total of $125 per panel. Pretty sad waste of our parents’ tax money.

Get caught, and the school can charge you with every panel that needs replacing—a grand total of nearly $3,000. And that would be just for the urinal separators, not the other ones between the toilets.







We’re here for four years, five days a week, nine months out of the year—who wants to be melted urinal plastic for that long? Even stupid Sharpie drawings, or the primal carvings of your ex-boyfriend’s name—What are we, cavemen?


Our school has limited funds to fix itself up and look pretty. We’ve got tons of art classes where you can be creative on surfaces far better than stall dividers. The money our parents dish out of every paycheck deserves better.







Written by Matt Fry
Images by Jessi Proulx and Alek Taras