I, CHEETO by Nadya Simakov

Images by Amber Poer

Beware of the Cheetos®! You probably can’t even pronounce the stuff on the ingredients list: Ferrous Sulfate, Niacin, Thiamin Monoitrate, Riboflavin, Frolic Acid, Disodium Phosphate, et al.

30 different kinds of ingredients go into making Cheetos, which end up being 4.8% protein, 35.9% carbs, and 59.3% fat. Cheetos are “one of the most marvelously constructed foods on the planet, in terms of pure pleasure,” says food scientist Read more

WE SHOULD KNOW THIS by Cody Calhoon

“Welcome to the World Forestry Center,” the man at the front counter says, greeting our class. “Are you looking for a group discount?”
The class of financially-strapped scholars answers in unison with a resounding “Yes!”
We get a whopping $1.40 off.

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The forestry guide leads our class to a theater room for a presentation on the importance of trees. Everyone picked at their brains for the answers to environmental questions that we knew we should recall after countless lectures.
“Can anyone name the types of forests?” Our teacher turns around and gives everyone that look. We should know this. Read more

NOSE BROOM by Amber Poer and Jeremy Hess

They’ll come at any time of day; in the middle of a meeting, a presentation, a stage debut, and they’ll come in fits of threes. Some people hold it in, some people let everything spray. Some people squeak when they sneeze; for others it takes more volume to get everything out.

Heritage student Becky Savage has one of those recognizably loud sneezes.

“Once in freshman year,” she tells us, “I was in the computer lab during 6th period. I sneezed and my science teacher opened the door to her classroom. Everyone in her class had heard me and they laughed and yelled ‘Bless you!’” Her sneeze is so loud, people used to yell “Bless you!” just to match the volume of her sternutation.

Sneezes happen when an irritant tickles you nose hairs, but it takes teamwork for a sneeze to happen. Read more