Lindsey Mckim woke up one morning to find dew on the ground. “That’s lovely,” she thought…
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Belonging
Taylor was adopted as an infant. Her birth parents were not able to sustain a nurturing environment for a young child because they were “children” themselves. Her mother, Sara, was only sixteen when she gave birth to baby Taylor, and was not able to take care of her lovely daughter at the time. Sara and her boyfriend Greg chose to have their daughter adopted by a married couple, Dana and Matt, who were much older than them, and ready for a family.
Her new parents, Dana and Matt, were thrilled to have a child of their own and later adopted another baby girl named Erica who is two years younger than Taylor. But growing up in a household where you know none of your family is genetically related to you can be somewhat of a struggle. Taylor was always allowed to visit her birth parents but she constantly wondered why they couldn’t have kept her if they went along and had two more children after her and kept both of them. Why? That was one of the questions Taylor would ask herself. She loved her adoptive mother, Dana, but wanted to know more about where her loyalties to a “family” should lie. Do they belong with her genetic parents? Or with the people who raise her?
Taylor looks in the mirror and sees dark brown eyes, light brown hair, and tan skin. Her adoptive sister Erica has pale skin with blue eyes and light blond hair and her adoptive mother and father are equally as different. Different skin tones, different eyes, different body types, nothing about her family’s appearance were relatable to Taylor’s own appearance at all. Taylor looks almost identical to her birth sister and brother and so much alike her mother and father. They all share deep set brown eyes, tan skin, and a very similar face shape. All of her family have similar body characteristics, so her birth mom, Sara, would be more of the one to give her clothing and personal advice with how to do their specific type of hair or make-up than her adoptive mom right? They could physically relate to each other, and her birth mom would have gone through all the same physical things that Taylor is as she’s growing up. But Dana is supposed to her mother, the one who gives her advice, and that’s where some of the confusion starts, and things contradict.
Taylor could feel all alone. She had a family that gave her up, and a family that’s nothing like her, who all have different genetic traits. When she spends time with her birth family, she feels like a part of them, same genetic attitude and humor, same appearance, yet she is not. If she doesn’t fully belong with any family, then who does she belong with? Who really cares for her?
But because she was adopted, that means someone did initially care about her. Her adoptive parents love her and treat her like a real daughter and took the initiative to adopt her as a baby, even though they had no idea who she was going to be and how she would act. Taylor’s birth parents love her too, and that’s why they chose what was best for her. But when Taylor tells them she sometimes feels like they are more her real parent than her adoptive parents because of their genetic link to each other, they reassure her she is loved by them always and will always be thought of as family, but they say “Your “real” parents are the people who raise, love , and discipline you. They are the ones you think of when you’re sick, when you’re in trouble. When you truly need something, when you’re sad, you go to them”.
So, Taylor could think she has no real family because of her adoption situation, but does she? Taylor could look at it as having more of a family than most people because of her four parents who all agree on the same thing; they love her, they want the absolute best for her, and the truly care for her.
Essay and Images MELAINE MERRYMAN
ARTS IN EDUCATION
tactile
Photographer Derek Julian investigates TEXTURES and PATTERNS with a rather dangerous technique commonly known as macro freelensing.
First, you take your lens off your camera so that rain and dust can get in.
Then, while holding your camera in one hand and your disconnected lens in the other, take a picture.
When done wrong, you break your camera.
When done right, you get this:
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HARTS
DISILLUSION
[media-credit name=”Image courtesy Alyssa Walker” align=”alignleft” width=”358″][/media-credit]I was free. I was leaving all that I wasn’t, and even if I came back it would all seem different and fake. Walking away from all of my parents utopian ideals was easy. I left because I couldn’t live with the religion that my parents forced down my throat.
Couldn’t live with the same routine day after day, month after month, the same routine of church every Sunday, where I would be shunned, humiliated, or worse if I spoke my actual thoughts. I had no real friends at school and the few who thought they knew me only knew the perfect little angel my parents had required. I didn’t know where I wanted to go but I’ve always heard my parents’ talk of the big city as a place filled with sinful, heretical thinkers. The big city was filled with people that already thought the way I do.
The town was a small nation, complete with a minutemen-style militia waiting for the holy war that our minister prophesized each morning. The militia included pretty much all the men between the ages of 16 to 50. The number of militia was constantly growing do to the fact that all women were required to have at least five children within the first ten years of their marriage. If the women did not produce children, they were to be divorced from the husband and put into the House of Effete. In the House of Effete the woman performed all of the menial tasks within the town such as cleaning the stalls of all the animals, burial duty and anything else the minister saw fit for the lowliest. Divorced husbands would merely be married to a chosen widow. The ministers reasoning for having five children was that when the holy war came, and it would most certainly come, then the citizens of the town would outnumber the heretics by such a large proportion, that the faithful would be able to lose three men in exchange for the life of one heretic. When all of the heretics would be eradicated, then the true believers would still have large enough numbers to start a new society in the name of our deity.
The minister had never allowed anyone to read his imposingly- large bible. He kept it locked away in his briefcase. We had only seen it once per year during our mandatory fasting, and during prayer week. During this time all families had to pay their penance which supposedly went to the betterment of the town, although all the work for the town was strictly unpaid and workers had to come up with the funds.
The whole town was completely under the control of the minister. Only three men had ever questioned the minister and they were immediately thrown out of the town with no money, food, or tools to survive. The minister had all of the funds kept in a locked vault within the church that only he knew the combination. When it came to laws, the minister could make and abolish laws at any time because he made us believe he had a divine right to rule over all of us believers. When a law was supposedly broken, the minister was the one that made and gave the verdict. The punishment for any and all crimes was immediate execution followed by a public stake burning where the families of the convicted were forced to start a small fire under the convicted. Over the course of six hours, he would increase the amount of wood until the convicted was completely cremated leaving nothing but ash.
Schooling started for all children at three years of age with the word of god. After the children learned about god’s wishes and history, they were taught simple math, and reading. Once the children could read, then they had to memorize the bible word for word. Once memorized, the children were then chosen for specific jobs within the town. Jobs included cooks, construction laborers, farmers, and needle workers. Once they were trained for their specific duties, the men were taught shooting and first aid within the militia. While all of this was going on, the women were immediately married to a mature man usually picked by their parents.
My family consisted of my mother, and father, three brothers, four sisters and me. Our parents had been so enthusiastic that they had the required number of children within three years, and within two weeks of that date my mother was already pregnant with another child. Within the house I was the oldest and most outspoken. Whereas my other siblings were very willing to accept any task or belief, I had always secretly questioned some of the prime rhetoric. I had been the most distant from people in the town always doing what was accepted and moving on to the next thing I believed they would ask of me. Other parents had always told mine that they thought I was the prettiest girl in the village and also very well behaved from a very young age. I didn’t like it because it meant being more social with the people I could have cared less about.
I had never really given thought to running away until a few months back when my parents started talking with the priest and other parents about who they thought would be a good husband for me. But what really made me snap and decide to leave was when I overheard my father speaking to Terry’s father about setting up a house and marrying me to Terry. It wasn’t the thought of marrying Terry that scared me, although I didn’t like the idea, it was the fact that my father was so serious with Terry’s. I knew it wasn’t going to be a choice for me to decide but that it had already been decided. When I heard that I wanted to cry, to ask my father why I wasn’t even given the choice but I knew with my parents that what they wanted with me was what happened with me and the whole town would back decisions of this nature.
Instead of asking him about it I went home, I packed the few things I really cared about and went to the outskirts of town. I plan to get a ride from a miner to the next town or as far as they will take me. I don’t know where I’ll go or what I’ll do when I get there but it won’t be living the way my parents believe is the only proper way to live. Maybe one day I will come back and try to abolish all of this. Until then I will do my best to make people in the big city realize all of the injustices this place has committed.
by JAY BUDD
UNDER WRAPS
“I was looking through Steve McCurry’s photo gallery, and the “Afghan Girl” photo he shot for a National Geographic cover caught my attention. The girl’s eyes looked like they were war ravaged and fearful…amazing to get so much emotion from such a ‘simple’ photo.
I realized just how much eyes can communicate. The purpose of my series was to capture the individual character of each of my subject’s eyes. In order to focus attention there, I went about obscuring the rest of their face.”
-Elvis Pring
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THEM + THEIRS
Student photographers make DIPTYCHS by shooting a PORTRAIT of someone along with something that describes them.
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