BUTTERFLIES by Alicia Pfaff

A video created by my mom,

Keeps the memories strong.

Reminding me of how strong I really am.

Standing outside my house

The morning of my surgery,

Butterflies swarming my insides

The reality hits me

I stand next to my dad.


In the hospital,

Smiling and laughing,

The velum swarming my blood stream,

My thoughts incoherent

The butterflies disappear.

Under the mask,

Out one second

Awake the next.

Time hadn’t shifted for me.


My dad,

My security blanket,

The only thing I wanted to see.

Keeping the smile on my face,

Sleep enfolds me

each time the button is pushed.

Pain controls,

Makes sleep unbearable.

Morphine takes it all away.


Family all around  me,

Sister, mom, and dad

Smiling down at me,

Giving me  support.

Out of my room,

Outside on the roof lookout

Of the city,

Feeling the sun on my face,

Felt like I’d never felt it before.


Standing for the first time,

My mom and dad next to me,

The whole way.


The time there

In the hospital room

Has changed me

Into something better.

Seeing how I used to be.

Tears roll down my cheeks

Collect in the corner of my smile.

Old feelings,

Pounding their way out of me

As I watch my past go by.