The inner being is an individual’s intention. Each intention has a meaning, and the meaning has a reason. Every person has a motivator, a series of factors that illuminate the truth of one’s identity. The factors vary in effectiveness, and each plays a role in shaping who you will become. One may become as cold as stone, or as warm as a setting sun. Every factor is unique and special to the situation. Look inside, notice what one is, is there something that is portrayed through the black shadow that one fills?
My alarm went off, shrieking in that annoying tone that jolts you out of sleep. I got up, and doing that groggy I-just-got-up-so-I-look-drunk walk, I made my way to the clock to press the power button. After the noise from the clock was gone, I drug myself into the bathroom, and started getting ready for school. Just a normal Tuesday morning that consisted of brushing my teeth and hair, and throwing on an old t-shirt and jeans. By now I was awake enough to do a normal walk out to the kitchen.
My older brother, Jared, was already waiting for me. I had always thought he put too much effort into getting ready for school – the way he gelled his hair up always used to bother me, but now I find myself missing it.
“You about ready to go?” Jared asked – you could tell he was annoyed. “I’ve been waiting for like, 20 minutes.” I replied that I was ready when he was, but kept to myself the surprise that he had been up so early. We made our way to the front door.
Walking to the front door was never walking as much as it was creeping. My younger sisters and stay-at-home mom were still asleep, and of course were light sleepers. So every move we made had to be silent. I still have no idea how my dad did this so quietly every morning when he left for work.
Ever since I was little I’ve had a strange fascination with vampires. Not like the obsessive people who have dedicated their life looking for imaginary Twilight characters (Edward Cullen anyone?). My interest is different. As a kid, I was always focused on the idea of vampires and the inconsistency in how to kill them. After a few hours of looking into how many ways there are, several weird looks, and asking around, I put together a list: a stake through the heart, burning, garlic, holy water, etc.
I didn’t stop after making a list. I took it a step further and created these photos.
I was sitting and staring down at the marble floor just below my feet inside the courthouse and wondering if it was possible for the ground to actually collapse out from under me. I caught my grandfather’s gaze from across the room. He was staring somewhere around my feet, not concentrated on anything, just lingering and departed from everything that was around him.
I asked him if he knew where he was.
He sighed and said he just watched his little girl go away for a very long time.
