{"id":4417,"date":"2014-01-27T07:20:39","date_gmt":"2014-01-27T15:20:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/howlheritage.com\/?p=4417"},"modified":"2014-01-27T07:20:39","modified_gmt":"2014-01-27T15:20:39","slug":"unfamiliar-halls-by-emily-fraser","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/?p=4417","title":{"rendered":"UNFAMILIAR HALLS by Emily Fraser"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Emily1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Picture this.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s your first day of school. You go through it once a year, but it\u2019s different this time. Because today, you\u2019re starting high school.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve been at the same school, with the same people, for the last 3 years. But now you\u2019re a freshman, navigating unfamiliar halls with faces you couldn\u2019t name if your life depended on it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now it\u2019s 4th period. You walk into your class, and don\u2019t recognize a single person. All day you\u2019ve been in classes with other freshmen. You didn\u2019t know them all, but at least they were in the same boat as you, navigating those same unfamiliar halls.<\/p>\n

You quickly find out that you are 1 of only 2 freshmen in the class. There\u2019s 1 sophomore, but the rest are juniors and seniors.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"Emily3\"<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what my first day at Heritage was like. I walked into the class that I was already nervous about taking \u2013 it was something totally new to me. Twenty or so people did that weird stare that we\u2019re all guilty of doing when someone new walks in the room. My stomach was tight. I scanned over the room, des<\/span>pe<\/span>rately looking for someone I knew or recognized, but to no prevail. The only seat open was at the back of the room, so now I had to walk past all the staring faces just to sit down. The room was full, and I was horrified. I had no clue how everyone had already gotten to class. I wasn’t late but everyone was already seated and ready to go \u2013 probably because they knew where they were going. I noticed that there was a back room, and decided I wanted to run in there and hide. I could still listen to the teacher, but I wouldn’t be surrounded by strangers. This whole thing took all of 7 seconds, but it felt like years spent just walking back to a seat. My legs were shaking and I couldn’t get them to move fast enough. Once I sat down, I just sat and took in the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

The room was practically silent if you ignored the quiet music that was playing. Some indie band I\u2019d never heard of. One of the unrecognizable faces from the hall could have been singing that song and I would have never known.<\/p>\n

There were a ton of pictures stapled up; an insane amount of them covered one wall. They were pictures that students had taken, and looking at them made me realize the amount of talent in the class, and I didn’t think I could even begin to measure up to it. I started hearing what everyone else\u2019s skills were (video production, photography, audio production, etc.). I didn’t really think I belonged in this class when I could do pretty much one thing \u2013 write. I won\u2019t lie; this class was so foreign to me, and I contemplated switching the class. But I didn’t really know where else to go, there wasn’t another class I was REALLY interested in. So I decided to stick it out, to give the uncomfortable Newspaper class a shot, and to make sure I didn’t piss anybody off. I don\u2019t think I even said two words within the first few days that weren’t in response to the teacher \u2013 to me it seemed the best way to stay tolerable to<\/span><\/span><\/span> the rest of the class. It made it easier knowing that I didn’t look my age. Considering my height, a lot of the juniors thought I was a senior, and a lot of the seniors thought I was a junior (I found this out when I finally started to talk). At one point a guy in class asked what grade I was in. When I said I was a freshman, his response was simply \u201cDamn, you\u2019re tall\u201d accompanied by widened<\/span><\/span><\/span> eyes.<\/p>\n

\"Emily2\"One of our first big projects of\u00a0the year was \u201cNightmare,\u201d which was basica<\/span>lly a bunch of creepy stories published throughout October. Now, creepy stories are right up my alley \u2013 horror\/suspense is my favorite genre to write in, so I was psyched for the project. I wrote a couple small pieces for \u201cNightmare,\u201d but nothing great. A couple of the girls in <\/span>class<\/span><\/span><\/span> had read them. I was insanely nervous thinking that they would hate the stories, and of course hate me for writing them (yes, that was my mindset). The girls thought they were great. They gushed over the stories, so I kept trying to write more and more. It seemed to be the one thing I could use to get to know and people in the class. I kept writing, kept using my one talent to my social advantage. And then, I finally got it. I wrote the story that really made me feel like I was a part of the class. It was the last story published for \u201cNightmare.\u201d It was called \u201cInto the Fog,\u201d and not only did the girls in class love it, but so did the teacher, Mr. Strong. It was the first piece I had written where people really took interest in it, where the teacher wanted to take it as far as he could \u2013 taking pictures and voice recordings to go along with the story. It was the first story I had written that made me really feel like I belonged. Once I had gotten into <\/span>\"emily4\"<\/p>\n

\u201cNightmare,\u201d I then got into the \u201cPerforming Arts Showcase,\u201d and now, I\u2019m writing this piece for \u201cAwkward.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I wrote this piece because I realized how stupid I had been those first few days. I stayed in the class and am (obviously) still in it, and I\u2019m so happy I made that decision. Between<\/span><\/span><\/span> the great feedback from other students and being published on HOWL Heritage, I feel so much more confident in my writing, and I feel more comfortable with others reading it. There are some great people I’ve met in this class, and those I haven\u2019t but<\/span><\/span><\/span> are still welcoming<\/span><\/span><\/span> and helpful. Even at the beginning of the year, nobody else did anything that would make me think they hated me; I was just getting in my own head. And maybe they do hate me, but at least I\u2019m not bothered by it. Experiences like this make me want to try other new things without that fear. I have to thank everyone in class for the warm welcome and reassurance,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>and I hope I didn’t piss you off.<\/p>\n

Most of us have been in a situation like my first day. Whether you were in a new school, class or club, we all know what it feels like – an annoying feeling that finds home<\/span><\/span><\/span> in the pit of your stomach. It\u2019s freaky, it\u2019s dumb, it\u2019s uncomfortable, it\u2019s weird, and as we all know, it sucks. \u00a0It\u2019s awkward<\/i>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Words by Emily Fraser<\/p>\n

Photography by Camper Ruybal<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Picture this. It\u2019s your first day of school. You go through it once a year, but it\u2019s different this time. Because today, you\u2019re starting high school. You\u2019ve been at the same school, with the same people, for the last 3 years. But now you\u2019re a freshman, navigating unfamiliar halls with faces you couldn\u2019t name if […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4417","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nonfiction","category-photography"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4417","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4417"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4417\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4426,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4417\/revisions\/4426"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4417"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4417"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4417"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}