to<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span> the projector flickered on the screen an overwhelming feeling of anxiety came over me, I needed to make my move but I knew the movie would be over soon.<\/p>\n\u201cHey Anthony, I need to go to the bathroom would you mind coming with me?\u201d I tried batting my eyelashes a little bit but it probably looked like I had something in my eye.<\/p>\n
\u201cUm, sure, I mean yeah I guess I can go\u201d he said this with a sound of dread but I thought I could maybe see the slightest hint of excitement in the way he got up from his chair following me out of the theatre, with a little bit of a leap in his step. I ignored the annoying snort that came out of Marcus\u2019s nose when he realized his two dates were leaving him to be alone, but I think I saw him give Anthony a punch of encouragement on the arm with a slight upward jerk of his head while we crawled over his legs to get passed him, well this just got awkward.<\/i><\/p>\n
When I walked into the bathroom it was extremely small with black and white tiled floors, red marble counters and blue squares trailing all over the walls. I tried going into the stall closest to the door but<\/span> it was occupied so I went to the one next to it, I\u2019m not sure why I sat down since I didn\u2019t even have to go it was just a part of my master plan to leap into Anthony\u2019s arms afterward.\u00a0 It was kind of scary how far into character I was getting for this, but as soon as I sat down a huge explosion of a fart came from the stall next to me.<\/p>\nOh my God. <\/i><\/p>\n
All I wanted to do was scream \u201cAnthony that wasn\u2019t me I<\/span> promise\u201d but I didn\u2019t because I didn\u2019t want to embarrass the real culprit who was next to me probably feeling the burn of whatever they ate last night coming back for revenge.<\/p>\nBoy! What did I think could be romantic about this? <\/i><\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/i>I found myself stuck between a fart and a hard place, I decided maybe he hadn\u2019t heard it, maybe he wasn\u2019t even waiting for me anymore, so I sucked up my pride and trudged on out the door towards the epitome of my embarrassment.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat wasn\u2019t me, I<\/span> promise\u201d<\/span> I said with a sheepish look on my face.\u00a0 Anthony looked at me questioningly with the most beautiful smirk painted on his face, but I realized I\u2019d already missed my opportunity to do any leaping into anybody\u2019s arms tonight.<\/p>\n\u201cJen<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>, what are you talking about exactly?\u201d Anthony said. I was flooded with relief, absolute relief that he miraculously hadn\u2019t heard that stomach churning eruption from minutes before, but before I could find the words to explain what I was talking about Marcus came walking out of the theatre \u2013 or should I say charging \u2013 and for once I was actually happy to see his stupid face just at the right time.<\/p>\n\u201cDude, I thought you guys ditched me, but then I thought long and hard about it and I figured it\u2019d be more likely that you got kidnapped so I thought I\u2019d come look<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span> for you but<\/span> to my surprise I<\/span> find you both here socializing the night away while I\u2019m in there starving to the bone.\u201d<\/p>\n\u201cI got it!\u201d said Marcus with a look of \u201cA-ha<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>!\u201d covering his face, \u201cMexican food! Let\u2019s go get some bean burritos smothered in cheese and salsa with rice on the side!\u201d<\/p>\nI didn\u2019t realize how hungry I was until I imagined a big steaming plate of brown rice and melted cheese covering layers of soft tortillas enveloping refried black beans with the scorching red salsa covering the top of it with its thick chunks of red and green peppers.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m in!\u201d I said almost too eagerly, but then Anthony objected.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s a good idea\u2026 maybe something a little lighter on the stomach, like a sandwich or salad, we don\u2019t want our bodies working too hard to try and digest all that greasy food\u201d He looked at me nervously when he said this through the corner of his eye.<\/p>\n
When he said this everything made sense, my face flushed white and then was replaced with the rush of my blood up to my eyeballs. He heard! Oh my gosh, HE HEARD! How could I be so gullible to believe him, of course he was just pretending so he wouldn\u2019t embarrass me but look, LOOK ANTHONY I\u2019M EMBARRASSED NOW!<\/i><\/p>\n
I busted out into explanation \u201cThat wasn\u2019t me in the bathroom making<\/span> all those noises I promise! I didn\u2019t even have to go to the bathroom I<\/span> just wanted to see if you\u2019d actually wait for me to see if this was a real date or not, my plan was to leap into your arms when I came out but<\/span> then that lady in there farted really loud and I swore you had heard it so I took even longer to come out because I was sure you wouldn\u2019t want to touch me after that but<\/span> then you told me you didn\u2019t hear it so I believed you, but now you\u2019re might as well be announcing it to the world that \u2018JEN HAS DIARRHEA\u2019 but It wasn\u2019t me I promise I don\u2019t know how to make you believe me!\u201d<\/p>\nIt seemed as though I said this all in one breathe.<\/p>\n
Blank stares cascaded between us, back and forth from me to Marcus, Marcus to Anthony, Anthony to me. Marcus nearly fell to the floor with laughter, I wished he\u2019d choke on it and pass out and forget everything I just said.<\/p>\n
\u201cJen<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>, umm<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>, how do I say this?\u201d Anthony said \u201cI\u2019m lactose Intolerant, I can\u2019t eat Mexican food because of all the cheese, and I really don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.\u201d<\/p>\nI slapped my hand to my forehead.<\/p>\n
Kill me now.<\/i><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Words by Victoria Sandoval<\/p>\n
Images by Hailey Owens<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Marcus\u2019s dirty grubby fingers better not touch that popcorn. We were at the movies watching The Internship, Marcus was on my left and Anthony was on my right. I honestly don\u2019t even understand how I got into this with the boy I have despised since the 8th grade and the boy I have been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4330","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4330","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4330"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4330\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4637,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4330\/revisions\/4637"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4330"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4330"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/howlheritage.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4330"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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